July 19, 2009

A slight security Problem

I was burgled on Friday, July 17, 2009. I am still recovering from the shock. I wasn't at home at the time of the burglary, but I still feel very violated. These thieves took:
  • My brand-new, just-replaced-it-2-weeks-ago 120 GB iPod Classic
  • Silicone iPod protectors in Smoke, Clear, and Blue
  • My 5 year old, 6.1 MP, still takes excellent pictures Kodak Z760 Zoom digital camera
  • My shipment from Interweave Knits (unless UPS just didn't deliver)
  • A half-empty bottle of Cabo Wabo Tequila
  • 2 Cartons of Egg Beaters....
The last part is the one that confuses me. WHO IN THE HELL STEALS EGG BEATERS??? A geriatric burgler with cholesterol problems??? A tech happy knitter who loves Breakfast?? Seriously??

I mean honestly, don't steal the new laptop that was just sitting out in plain view. Or the attached 500 GB hard drive. Or the 42" TV (OK, maybe that is a bit big to hoist). Or the 19" TV (that would have made the burglary obvious). Or my Blackberry. Or any of the other expensive and sundry devices all around my home.

Seriously, take my iPod, which I just replaced on the 8th (literally, like 9 days earlier) after losing the one I had had for 4 years. Thankfully, I still had the box, and could give the officer the serial number. So if you try to fence that to a pawn shop, you are seriously screwed dude.

Take my digital camera, which I'm not too upset about since I wanted to replace it. But wanting to replace something and needing to replace something are two totally different playing fields. One pisses me off. The other sends me to Consumer Reports.

Take my Egg Beaters . . . which causes me not to call the police because I know that the ensuing conversation is going to make me sound like an idiot.
Me: I've been burgled.
Officer: Ok, what did they take?
Me: iPod, Silicone Cases for the iPod, Digital Camera, Knitting books, Egg Beaters
Officer: (thinking "I always get the nut jobs") Egg Beaters ma'am?
Me: YES! ...and a half-empty bottle of tequila.
Come on now, what would you think? I literally sat on this burglary for 24 hours because I thought reporting the Egg Beaters was inching toward the ridiculously sublime. Then I noticed the camera (and its charge dock) was gone and that's when I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I had been robbed.

Actually, that's pretty close to how the actual conversation went down, only Officer K. Smith was kind enough to let me know that I would definitely be his Facebook status in the morning and that he was going to tell every cop buddy he had about this one. Thieves lifting an iPod, a digital Camera, and Egg Beaters. What's more, the victim noticed the iPod and Egg Beaters missing first. The digital Camera took a bit longer, like 24 hours....

Yup, ridiculously sublime.

But he was very very nice. My mother, who continues to harbor hope that I'll find a nice new man down here in Florida, was heartened by the fact that this was a 1.5 hour conversation. However, I noticed the Wedding ring and he mentioned his kids and that one had a license, which meant both she and he were too old for me.


So, I'll replace the camera tomorrow with a brand-spanking new version. I'll wait a few weeks on the iPod, to see if it gets fenced.

I'll also replace my Egg Beaters. They're an important source of protein for someone trying to lose weight.


  1. OMG. Sorry to hear that. Thank the lord you were not home whne they broke in. But seriously - Egg Beaters? I have some in my fridge if you want me to send them to you.

  2. Maybe they thought you were hiding valuables in the Egg Beaters